


The Ballad of Billy

by kitmarlowed



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 11:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2505719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitmarlowed/pseuds/kitmarlowed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The Addamses are whack."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ballad of Billy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Merfilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/gifts).



“Don’t go to that house up on the hill,” says Billy to his friend. “The Addamses are whack, man.”

The friend, whom Billy thinks is new in town, turns to face Billy. “That isn’t very nice,” he says, “I’m sure they’re decent people.”

Billy shakes his head from side to side so vehemently that the friend, for a moment, thinks it might shake off its hinges in the boys neck. “Halloween was ages ago, pal. The house is always like that.”

“Maybe it’s old,” says the friend with a lift of his shoulders, “and they don’t want to change it.”

Billy narrows his eyes at the friend, whom he’s not really sure is a friend anymore. “You sound like one of ‘em,” he says, “you’re too calm.” He says this by straining the word ‘too’ in a manner far better suited to a toddler than a sensible twelve year old. 

The friend huffs and, crossing his arms, says: “You’re just frightened, Billy.”

“No I’m damn well not,” says Billy, turning rather red in the face, possibly this is due more to him use of language his mother would scold him for rather than anything else. “I’ll go up there if you’re going, I ain’t no chicken.”

“Alright,” says Billy’s friend, already opening the gate with a quick motion. “Let’s go.”

Billy grumbles to the friend and to himself for most of the way up the stone driveway that’s banked by tattered and dead-looking grass. He grumbles even more once they reach the massive, dark wood doors of the Mansion.

“You know,” Billy says, in a voice that he’s trying to make sound strong but really just sounds scared, “they say that there’s a cave system under this old house. Underground lake and everything, just under it. I’ve heard that it’s haunted.”

“I thought,” says the friend, rather primly if Billy thinks about it, “that the whole house was haunted.”

“Don’t think so, just the family there and they’re creepy enough as it is.” Billy peers through the stained glass window to the side of the porch, says: “Maybe we could see if there’s an entrance.”

Billy’s friend shrugs. “I thought you were frightened, Billy.”

Billy scowls. “I said I ain’t no chicken! But if you’re so scared we don’t have to.”

“Alright,” says the friend. “Maybe the entrance is around the back of the house.”

“It’s a mansion,” Billy corrects, know-it-all. “And let’s have a look.”

The friend dutifully lets Billy lead him to the back of the dark mansion, blithely ignoring Billy's seemingly subconscious terror squeaks. 

When Billy's friend isn't looking Billy grins and, fast as anything, Billy socks his friend right in the shoulder.

"Hey," says the friend, "whatcha do that for?" and, cleverly, the friend flicks a switch between two stones that make up the foundation of the Addams Mansion.

Billy looks on bewildered, until he falls forward into a whole that has just appeared in the stone.

The friend's mouth hardens into a thin line and he follows.

At the bottom of some wooden stairs Billy groans, but is largely unhurt save for some scrapes on his knees and elbows, nothing major.

"You're a bully Billy," says the friend, who Billy has decided now is not a friend at all. "I want to introduce you to someone."

Billy thinks the voice of the other boy has changed as the boy turns towards a huge hole in the rock and yells "HELLO COUSIN CACKLE! I HAVE A FRIEND FOR YOU!"

Billy watches, terrified, as the boy climbs the rickety stairs and closes the trap door.

He is frightened of the dark, he thinks, and there's a scary laughter coming from the tunnel.

*

Wednesday brushes dust from Pugsley's best clothes, they hung off her shoulders something terrible, she'll have to ask Grandmama to make her a suit.

Her father smiles at her as he gets home from work, says: "How was your day, dear?" 

Wednesday grins, "Good, I entertained Cousin Cackle."

"That's wonderful! I'm sure they'll turn up in a few days."

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY HALLOWE'EN


End file.
